There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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