We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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