He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
