Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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