worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
