suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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