I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
