so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
