I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
