his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We left an ass print on the piano.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize