She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I am morally bankrupt
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
