i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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