normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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