I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
