if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize