1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
