She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
