i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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