Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
