This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
