Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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