Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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