do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
