just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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