She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
