Kiss
Puke
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
