I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
