You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
