He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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