I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
