You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
