You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't put those talents on a resume
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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