Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
