I'm lost and stupid without you.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
