The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
