If that was your dad, he is hot
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
