now i know why i became what i already was.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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