I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
