HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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