i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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