Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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