at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
