just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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