they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
