you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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