everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
