Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
