is your mom at the bar?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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