She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
