She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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