just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
