Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize