who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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