we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
