so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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