Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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