Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The ass gains better be worth it
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