Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
