it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
