Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
