omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
