Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
